Letting Go...

Today I wanted to write a blog entry on a completely different subject...but lost focus and started going through all my old postings when I came across a draft that I didn't publish for whatever the reason. After reading it, I was very suprised to find how closely this passage related to my life at this very instint. Surely, not a coincedence.

I hope this helps to all those who are in a similar position...

xox
Leah


To let go isn’t to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t winning and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear. It’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, to overcome and to move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. It is learning that sometimes the heart can be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path and to set yourself free.- Anonymous

All Women are Princesses...It is Our Right

Have you ever watched the movie "A Little Princess"? ....Well ladies, if you haven't, you need to see it. The way this little girls father raised her is EXACTLY how every little girl SHOULD be raised. Like the princesses that we are. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. With so many different evils in this world, most little girls are raised with emotional, sexual, physical abuse in the household. Some are taught to feel ugly, worthless and stupid....and feeling like you aren't worth ANYTHING, nevermind a princess. I've been reading this book called "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge which has truly given me insight on how a woman should really feel in life....How wounds from the past hold a girls heart back...How a true woman's soul longs to be wanted, persued, desired and vulnerable. How we want a night in shinning armour to whisk us away on his brilliantly white horse and live happily ever after...But in 2009, a woman is taught by her many heartbreaking experiences (and 99.9% of the female population has) that having a strong, manlike demenor with a sheild of armour around our hearts is the only way to protect ourselves...we constantly put off a vibe to the world to stay away, or there's the exact opposite where the girl feels like she can get love out of sleeping with multiple men.. Well, I know from experience that I give off a "I can do everything myself" vibe...That I'm teflon and nothing can break me or shake me...when deep inside, all women know different. We WANT to be a princess...We WANT to have our fairytale ending..all of us do. So this blog is just to tell all you women...that it is YOUR RIGHT to feel this way....You were BORN to feel this way...you are WOMEN...The BEARER of LIFE, the NOURISHER, the PRINCESS....We are the "Ezer Kenegdo" to man...and if you do not know what this means, which most of you probably don't, Hebrew scholars have tried to define it as "Lifesaver".
Love yourself entirely with all the vulnerability that God has made in you. You are a Princess.


XOX
Leah

A New Day

Life is weird, you know? When you think you got it all figured out..Then one day, you wake up to find out that you had not the slightest clue. I have recently decided that the whole modeling thing...well...that life just isn't for me. Yes, of course, it was fun...It's glamourous....but it is fake. It can be demeaning. And to be honest, for me, it's superficial. I love it as an art form. I think the human body is a beautiful master piece and photographing it can be like going into an art gallery and seeing a Mona Lisa...BUT...In a society where looks already "make you or break u" it makes you more than second guess yourself...You start to look at your nose...Your boobs...Your lips..Your thighs...Your wheight..etc..And you start to say to yourself, maybe if this was altered, or those were a little higher, I'd be perfect.....Even the most beautiful of beautiful will doubt themselves because that is what the industry does. Period. I've come to learn, that I just want to be me and not be so consumed in such an artificial, superficial, unreal world...I hear my calling else where...And whatever comes up, comes up. It's hard being a real person in a society where everywhere you look, fake smiles and cut eye engulf you. There's more to life then always worrying about how you look...And yes..I am definitely guilty of over analyzing myself in the mirror, being materialistic, wishing that my boobs were bigger and dreaming of a career filled with flashes and stars...but the reality is...If I had all those TEMPORARY things...and indeed, they are temporary....then what is going to happen afterwards when the looks fade? And the lights stop flashing? and my skin wrinkles and my boobs still look droopy? Do nice things REALLY make you happy in the end of it all? Am I really going to be taking all those things to the grave with me? Maybe the silicone..but definitely not all those material things I thought would be necessary to enhance my life in some way...I've always wondered...If being attractive is really more of a curse, then a blessing..

He who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

I've never been the girl to have a million best friends and to be honest, in high school I was always jealous of those girls who did. Especially my sister...I've never known anyone to have friends like my sister. But now as I've grown older, I have found that really true, good friends are hard to come by. I have a million acquaintances but only a handful of people I can really call a friend.

So this is my tribute to all my true friends, who have helped me through my hard times..and who I will always, always be there for. No matter what.

Jojo

My Josie, my wife. You will probably never read this, but if you so happen to stumble upon this one rainy afternoon, I want you to know I love you. We can go weeks without talking, and that moment when we get off of our busy trains, nothing has changed between us. You will forever be my confidant.

Ash

My wonton, apple sauce parmagiano!! We've had so many good times from chop chop carrots to 17 beers to 17 years...I thank God for all the hardships we've been through..it has just shown me that our friendship is strong.  Thank you for always being there, and you know I always have your back!! Remember me when you have your little Montash's...i'm stealing one. I love you girlie!!

Brenda aka Brenda

My Jonesssssyyy...this year wouldn't have been the same without you. I can honestly say, you have to be one of the kind hearted people I have ever met...and you always tell me the truth even if I think you're lying LOL. I love you girlie and I can't wait to go sky diving in July...Don't be surprised if I suffer from cardiac arrest up there. 

My beautiful Alix

It's so weird how people come into your life...God works in mysterious ways. I don't regret one thing that has happened because I wouldn't have come to find what an amazing person you are. I'm always, always here for you even if we're a million miles apart. I love you mama and I can't to come to Australia!!

Last, but not least...My Mikki Dick

My little banana fritter. Even though you are my sister, you are also my best friend. You have to be one of the funniest, smartest, most articulate, beautiful person I know. Your wit surprises me everytime. I can't wait until we have kids and laugh how funny looking they are. 

Love you my moomoo

Challenge Of the Day

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.
T.E. Lawrence

BE THE DREAMER BY DAY AND MAKE YOUR DREAMS A REALITY!

Will all the REAL people, please stand up!

Let me start off by saying, that KARMA is one of the most constant things in this world. I have always believed that there is no such thing as a mistake....There's what you do and what you don't do (I'm pretty much merciless). In that moment, in which you are to call a mistake later on in life, you have something buried deep in your gut that I call intuition. Everyone has it. It's a gut feeling that has been scientifically proven to PREVENT you from making those quote on quote "mistakes". Why is it that some people feel they need to justify they're a good person and that they do so much for this and that...yet, seem to hurt the people they CLAIM to care about in the process?

I have a reality check for you.

People who LOVE you..will not INTENTIONALLY HURT you. TO KNOW that what you are doing WILL hurt someone, is INTENTIONAL if you continue to do it.

KARMA is REAL. And I can't wait for some individuals to get theirs.

The Power of a Mothers Love

I have been blessed with many, many things in my life. And just like the majority of people, I can sometimes take those things for granted. I think sometimes God brings certain situations into our lives to slap us in our face and to make us realize what exactly we have in front of ourselves. The one situation that will always stand out in my mind was when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I still remember to this very moment the day she called all three of her children to the living room to tell us that she had received the news. I don't exactly remember what my initial thought was, but I do remember holding her in my arms while she cried about how scared she was to lose us. And I remember crying right back imagining what my life would be without her. I do not think I will ever know, the love that a mother has for her children until I have my own. Although, I have seen what it can do. In between her chemo treatments, my mom decided to continue working part time so that in case she passed, we can maintain the same lifestyle we were living. Instead of focussing on her health, her main focus was her family. I remember the day we shaved her hair because it was falling out everywhere...I remember she was asked to come into my careers class to talk about her profession and asked if it was OK because she was afraid that I would be embarrassed that she was bald and had to wear a head wrap. I just remember thinking that I have never been more proud of anyone in my entire life. I look back and think of all of the amazing accomplishments my mother has achieved in her lifetime...and I can only hope to be HALF of the woman and mother she is.

She is my inspiration...The reason I am strong and the reason why I believe that no matter what struggle you have in life, you can always get through. 

This is my mother and I when she was on her Chemo. I've never seen her so beautiful.




A mothers love is undeniable and truly unconditional.